i need a sabbathical.
very very badly.
because im getting so jaded about just everything.
which is why, partly im looking forward to sat nite.
i hope FOP lets me regain that original love ive lost.

im getting increasingly irritated.
everytime i talk to ken, even coming to meet you with him.
you have to say something about it.
can you quit it already? im so sick of hearing variations of your voice.
wadssup with your suspecting everyone?
why cant i hold a decent conver with sua without your interrupting to speculate?
im so tired, so exasperated.
grow up girl, its time you use a diff view on a world where testosterone is as rampant.
relationships can go beyond that of romantic, so free your mind.

and you ask me,
why there is lingering wistfulness,
a shadow, a trace of sadness
even when i smile, even when i laugh.
and i cant tell you, but i do know:
im just looking around
hoping to find that which would give me true happiness.
and how ive been searching, all along
through many diff channels
but the mirror showed that answers dont lie
in many people and many things.

draw me an empty jetty staring at calm waters.